Taking the next step
The blog this week has featured three posts from Bryan Atkinson, a friend of mine who is a Christian counselor here in Mansfield. If you have not had the chance to read these three posts, I really want to encourage you to go back and read Bryan’s thoughts on the topic of addiction. Here they are.
I want to first say a big word of thanks to Bryan for sharing his thoughts here on the blog. I truly believe that for someone they might be the first step towards getting the help they need.
And that’s what I want to briefly talk about in today’s post. For someone who might personally be wrestling with an addiction, whether it be to drugs, alcohol, sex, or any other destructive behavior, what’s the next step?
Let me suggest four possible steps.
1. Find a friend!
One of the most significant convictions of our lives is the fact that none of us are able to “save” ourselves. I think one of the first steps is simply having the courage to say to yourself, “I’m going to need some help. Who would be willing to help me?” There may not be a name that immediately comes to mind, but there is always someone willing to help. If nothing else, talk to your pastor, but do not making the mistake of thinking you can fix this by your own will. Find a friend!
2. Share the secret!
There is a reason that the Bible says to “confess your sins to another,” and it is not to satisfy someone else’s curiosity. Confession is a powerful act because it reduces the power that the secret holds in our lives. The longer we allow our secret behaviors and struggles to remain hidden in our lives, the more isolated we will become from the very people God may be preparing to help participate in our healing. When the secret is shared, it’s power is compromised, and Gods’ grace is invited into the broken places of our lives.
3. Invest in the change you seek!
Once you have found a friend and shared the secret, it’s time to start investing in the change you want to bring in your life. This stage may look very different for different people. It might be taking time to learn more about your own addiction. For instance, the book Every Man’s Battle is a great resource for men struggling with a sex addiction. For others the next step is calling a counselor like Bryan to set up an appointment and to begin talking through the issues you are facing in your life. But here is the important point. Once the secret is out, it is imperative that you begin intentionally working towards the change you want to see in your life. This is the point where you get angry at the addiction that has stolen away a part of your life and you commit to making whatever sacrifices are necessary to beating that thing into the ground!
[As a side note, one of the pieces of feedback I hear a lot is, "we don't have the money for counseling." I know many families do have very real struggles with money, but I often think to myself when I hear those words... "If my child was sick and there was medicine available that could heal that child, would anything stand in my way?" I don't mean to sound trite here. If money is a significant burden, financial assistance for counseling is available through our church mission center.]
4. Build your support team!
For most, building your support team will involve both recruiting and excluding. In order for any team to function, you have to get the right people on the team and in some cases, you have to get the wrong people off the team. This is a super tough call, but for healing to happen, sometimes there are influences in your life that you just have to cut off. When it comes to positive influences on your life and future, I’m not sure you can have enough. Continue to build your team!
